NT. CLIFF RAILWAY RECEPTION - MORNING
An instructional DVD plays on a TV.
Sitting on chairs and watching it in the middle of the
reception are an annoyed MARVIN (52), an amazed PAT (28) and
an oblivious KAY (17). Standing next to the TV is CLARA (55).
The NARRATOR of the DVD speaks.
NARRATOR
The Babbacombe Cliff Railway opened
on the first of April 1926.
Construction lasted 17 months at a
total cost of £15,648. That’s about
£900,000 in today’s money.
MARVIN
Clara.
NARRATOR
It was Sir George Newnes who first
suggested the idea of a cliff
railway in 1890-
MARVIN
Clara!
NARRATOR
Only to be-
Clara pauses the DVD.
CLARA
What is it, Marvin.
MARVIN
Why do we actually need to know any
of this?
CLARA
When you work on the cliff railway
you represent it. You’re part of
its history. And you need to know
because visitors will ask about how
it all started.
MARVIN
No they won’t. They want to go to
the beach, not a museum.
CLARA
Look, the DVD isn’t that long, it’s
not that hard remember it all, all
right?
She plays the DVD again.
NARRATOR
-met with fierce opposition from
the locals, resulting in-
Clara pauses the DVD again.
CLARA
Pat, you don’t need to put your
hand up, just ask the question.
PAT
Who gets to decide which car goes
down and which one goes up?
CLARA
I’m...not sure what you mean.
PAT
Well, you know, what if both of
them go up by accident or
something. Just seems like a hard
job to remember which one goes
where.
CLARA
You...you don’t need to be worried
about that, Pat. But thanks.
PAT
S’alright.
CLARA
Right, let’s finish up and...Kay,
are you paying attention?
KAY
No.
CLARA
Well, you were paying enough
attention to know I asked if you
were.
KAY
I have selective attention
disorder. Look it up.
2.
CLARA
Why are you on your phone?
KAY
Doing homework.
CLARA
On your phone?
KAY
I know. Two centuries of technology
coming together, what a moment.
PAT
She’s texting.
KAY
What are you doing?! Don’t look!
CLARA
All right! Look, just take these
leaflets. These should have
everything you need to know. We
open in...7 minutes, so flick
through it quickly. Marvin, go get
the cars turned on.
Marvin grunts and gets up to turn on the machinery.
PAT
You know, my little girl wants to
grow up to work here.
KAY
Tell her to aim higher.
CLARA
Pat, that’s lovely! All the more
reason to learn all you can, so you
can tell her about the wonders of
the cliff railway.
MARVIN
Hey Clara?
CLARA
Yes Marvin?
MARVIN
Do these leaflets tell us
everything we need to know about
what to do if the cars won’t start
up?
3.
CLARA
Oh no.
KAY
Nice.
PAT
Checking...checking...no, they
don’t, Marvin!
MARVIN
Well now what are you gonna do?
CLARA
Let me check.
Clara goes to join Marvin at the controls.
PAT
Hey Kay...Kay.
KAY
Yeah?
PAT
I haven’t seen you working here
before.
KAY
How long have you been here?
PAT
Oh, it’s my first day.
KAY
Mine too. Probably why what’s her
name was making us watch the DVD.
PAT
Clara.
KAY
Yeah.
PAT
I like her.
KAY
I dunno, the cliff railway love all
seems a bit forced to me.
PAT
Oh, you think she actually hates
it?
4.
KAY
No, but it’s just, don’t believe
that someone cares that much about
this place.
PAT
I think this place is amazing.
KAY
You do?
Clara and Marvin are still at the controls.
CLARA
Oh, flip.
MARVIN
Told you. There’s three switches
that look like on switches but none
of them do anything.
CLARA
It was all working yesterday.
MARVIN
I’m surprised this stuff can even
work at all.
CLARA
What do you mean?
MARVIN
Would you get in a lift that’s a
hundred years old?
CLARA
Don’t call it a lift.
MARVIN
This thing needs to be updated.
Properly. In London they have
offices that look Victorian, but
inside have state of the art-
CLARA
Well this isn’t London, okay?
MARVIN
Clearly.
CLARA
Urgh, maybe it’s a problem at the
bottom station.
5.
Back to Pat and Kay, still sitting down.
PAT
So what else do you like to do?
KAY
Follow vlogs.
PAT
I fall off logs too. It is as easy
as they say.
KAY
What? No, follow, vlogs. Video
blogs, online.
PAT
Why?
KAY
What is this? I don’t know, why are
you even talking to me?
CLARA
Hey guys?
KAY
What?!
CLARA
We think it might be a problem with
the bottom station. We need someone
to check it.
PAT
I’ll go!
Pat gets up and runs out.
CLARA
Wait! You don’t know what you’re
looking for!
KAY
Wow, he is really fast.
CLARA
Pat!
Clara notices people waiting outside the entrance.
CLARA (CONT’D)
Oh, hello! Thanks for waiting. Not
too much longer now!
6.
She closes the door.
CLARA (CONT’D)
Not too much longer now.
MARVIN
People are queueing?
CLARA
Yes. They are. And we have to get
this working for them, because they
care about this cliff railway and
want to support this historic part
of Torquay. Also, they look quite
old and I’m not sure they’ll make
it back up the hill, so come on!
Kay, you come see what you can make
of this control panel. Marvin, take
these binoculars and check if Pat’s
made it to the bottom station.
MARVIN
How could he have made it already
to the--oh my lord he has. That kid
is a rocket.
KAY
Clara. It is Clara, right?
CLARA
That’s right.
KAY
I gotta say, this obsession with
the cliff railway is really weird.
You know there are museums in
Torquay? Why are you so protective
of this place?
CLARA
Because it’s been around longer
than any of us, and it’s still
here! That’s why it doesn’t belong
in a museum, or a text book, or a
boring DVD...
Kay gasps.
CLARA (CONT’D)
I’ve been using the cliff railway
for 52 years. When I first rode it,
it was exciting time of my life. I
forgot to even look at the view.
(MORE)
7.
Of course, back then you could
smoke in the cars so I couldn’t
have anyway.
KAY
Oh.
CLARA
And it’s still here today. Not an
exhibit, not a statue, not a relic
from the past. It’s a working,
practical, public serving monument.
MARVIN
This is hopeless, he’s just hitting
random buttons in a panic.
CLARA
And now, on my first day managing
it, it’s all going wrong.
KAY
Wait, it’s your first day too? So,
Marvin’s the only one here who know
how any of this works?
CLARA
No, it’s his first day too. He was
an old friend from University who
moved back to Torquay recently.
KAY
So none of us know what we’re
doing?
CLARA
Maybe not.
KAY
Then that’s perfect!
CLARA
What?
KAY
That means there’s probably nothing
wrong with the cliff railway at
all! We’re just idiots and we’ve
missed something!
MARVIN
Pat’s coming back, I think.
CLARA (CONT’D)
8.
CLARA
All right, lets get this thing
working! Or, turn it on at least.
KAY
I’ll Google how to turn on a cliff
railway.
CLARA
Will that really tell you the
answer?
KAY
Google can answer everything-oh,
no, it’s just giving me a list of
cliff railway’s. Wow, the one in
Lynmouth looks fancy.
CLARA
I don’t care about Lynmouth!
MARVIN
Clara! We’re supposed to open in
one minute!
CLARA
Was there anything that didn’t look
switched on on this control panel?
MARVIN
I tried everything. Except the
till, I suppose.
CLARA
Try it!
MARVIN
The till is not going to help power
a pre-historic lift-
CLARA
Marvin!
MARVIN
Fine!
Pat bursts in.
PAT
Guys!
Clara, Marvin and Kay all yelp in surprise.
9.
KAY
Can everyone stop yelling?!
CLARA
Did you find what might be the
problem?
PAT
No.
They all groan.
PAT (CONT’D)
It was kinda scary down there on my
own. It made me realise you
couldn’t run this thing on your
own.
Beat.
CLARA
That’s it!
MARVIN
Huh?
CLARA
Everyone, get in the control panel
area.
They all rush in.
PAT
Ooh. Cozy.
CLARA
It looked like there were three
different switches that looked like
power switches, right Marvin?
MARVIN
Yeah.
CLARA
So. You get ready to press that one
up there, I’ll take this one, Kay
you take the one down there.
PAT
What about me?
KAY
You turn on the till.
10.
CLARA
On the count of three. Ready? One,
two, three!
The cliff railway stirs.
The till beeps.
PAT
I did it!
END
11
An instructional DVD plays on a TV.
Sitting on chairs and watching it in the middle of the
reception are an annoyed MARVIN (52), an amazed PAT (28) and
an oblivious KAY (17). Standing next to the TV is CLARA (55).
The NARRATOR of the DVD speaks.
NARRATOR
The Babbacombe Cliff Railway opened
on the first of April 1926.
Construction lasted 17 months at a
total cost of £15,648. That’s about
£900,000 in today’s money.
MARVIN
Clara.
NARRATOR
It was Sir George Newnes who first
suggested the idea of a cliff
railway in 1890-
MARVIN
Clara!
NARRATOR
Only to be-
Clara pauses the DVD.
CLARA
What is it, Marvin.
MARVIN
Why do we actually need to know any
of this?
CLARA
When you work on the cliff railway
you represent it. You’re part of
its history. And you need to know
because visitors will ask about how
it all started.
MARVIN
No they won’t. They want to go to
the beach, not a museum.
CLARA
Look, the DVD isn’t that long, it’s
not that hard remember it all, all
right?
She plays the DVD again.
NARRATOR
-met with fierce opposition from
the locals, resulting in-
Clara pauses the DVD again.
CLARA
Pat, you don’t need to put your
hand up, just ask the question.
PAT
Who gets to decide which car goes
down and which one goes up?
CLARA
I’m...not sure what you mean.
PAT
Well, you know, what if both of
them go up by accident or
something. Just seems like a hard
job to remember which one goes
where.
CLARA
You...you don’t need to be worried
about that, Pat. But thanks.
PAT
S’alright.
CLARA
Right, let’s finish up and...Kay,
are you paying attention?
KAY
No.
CLARA
Well, you were paying enough
attention to know I asked if you
were.
KAY
I have selective attention
disorder. Look it up.
2.
CLARA
Why are you on your phone?
KAY
Doing homework.
CLARA
On your phone?
KAY
I know. Two centuries of technology
coming together, what a moment.
PAT
She’s texting.
KAY
What are you doing?! Don’t look!
CLARA
All right! Look, just take these
leaflets. These should have
everything you need to know. We
open in...7 minutes, so flick
through it quickly. Marvin, go get
the cars turned on.
Marvin grunts and gets up to turn on the machinery.
PAT
You know, my little girl wants to
grow up to work here.
KAY
Tell her to aim higher.
CLARA
Pat, that’s lovely! All the more
reason to learn all you can, so you
can tell her about the wonders of
the cliff railway.
MARVIN
Hey Clara?
CLARA
Yes Marvin?
MARVIN
Do these leaflets tell us
everything we need to know about
what to do if the cars won’t start
up?
3.
CLARA
Oh no.
KAY
Nice.
PAT
Checking...checking...no, they
don’t, Marvin!
MARVIN
Well now what are you gonna do?
CLARA
Let me check.
Clara goes to join Marvin at the controls.
PAT
Hey Kay...Kay.
KAY
Yeah?
PAT
I haven’t seen you working here
before.
KAY
How long have you been here?
PAT
Oh, it’s my first day.
KAY
Mine too. Probably why what’s her
name was making us watch the DVD.
PAT
Clara.
KAY
Yeah.
PAT
I like her.
KAY
I dunno, the cliff railway love all
seems a bit forced to me.
PAT
Oh, you think she actually hates
it?
4.
KAY
No, but it’s just, don’t believe
that someone cares that much about
this place.
PAT
I think this place is amazing.
KAY
You do?
Clara and Marvin are still at the controls.
CLARA
Oh, flip.
MARVIN
Told you. There’s three switches
that look like on switches but none
of them do anything.
CLARA
It was all working yesterday.
MARVIN
I’m surprised this stuff can even
work at all.
CLARA
What do you mean?
MARVIN
Would you get in a lift that’s a
hundred years old?
CLARA
Don’t call it a lift.
MARVIN
This thing needs to be updated.
Properly. In London they have
offices that look Victorian, but
inside have state of the art-
CLARA
Well this isn’t London, okay?
MARVIN
Clearly.
CLARA
Urgh, maybe it’s a problem at the
bottom station.
5.
Back to Pat and Kay, still sitting down.
PAT
So what else do you like to do?
KAY
Follow vlogs.
PAT
I fall off logs too. It is as easy
as they say.
KAY
What? No, follow, vlogs. Video
blogs, online.
PAT
Why?
KAY
What is this? I don’t know, why are
you even talking to me?
CLARA
Hey guys?
KAY
What?!
CLARA
We think it might be a problem with
the bottom station. We need someone
to check it.
PAT
I’ll go!
Pat gets up and runs out.
CLARA
Wait! You don’t know what you’re
looking for!
KAY
Wow, he is really fast.
CLARA
Pat!
Clara notices people waiting outside the entrance.
CLARA (CONT’D)
Oh, hello! Thanks for waiting. Not
too much longer now!
6.
She closes the door.
CLARA (CONT’D)
Not too much longer now.
MARVIN
People are queueing?
CLARA
Yes. They are. And we have to get
this working for them, because they
care about this cliff railway and
want to support this historic part
of Torquay. Also, they look quite
old and I’m not sure they’ll make
it back up the hill, so come on!
Kay, you come see what you can make
of this control panel. Marvin, take
these binoculars and check if Pat’s
made it to the bottom station.
MARVIN
How could he have made it already
to the--oh my lord he has. That kid
is a rocket.
KAY
Clara. It is Clara, right?
CLARA
That’s right.
KAY
I gotta say, this obsession with
the cliff railway is really weird.
You know there are museums in
Torquay? Why are you so protective
of this place?
CLARA
Because it’s been around longer
than any of us, and it’s still
here! That’s why it doesn’t belong
in a museum, or a text book, or a
boring DVD...
Kay gasps.
CLARA (CONT’D)
I’ve been using the cliff railway
for 52 years. When I first rode it,
it was exciting time of my life. I
forgot to even look at the view.
(MORE)
7.
Of course, back then you could
smoke in the cars so I couldn’t
have anyway.
KAY
Oh.
CLARA
And it’s still here today. Not an
exhibit, not a statue, not a relic
from the past. It’s a working,
practical, public serving monument.
MARVIN
This is hopeless, he’s just hitting
random buttons in a panic.
CLARA
And now, on my first day managing
it, it’s all going wrong.
KAY
Wait, it’s your first day too? So,
Marvin’s the only one here who know
how any of this works?
CLARA
No, it’s his first day too. He was
an old friend from University who
moved back to Torquay recently.
KAY
So none of us know what we’re
doing?
CLARA
Maybe not.
KAY
Then that’s perfect!
CLARA
What?
KAY
That means there’s probably nothing
wrong with the cliff railway at
all! We’re just idiots and we’ve
missed something!
MARVIN
Pat’s coming back, I think.
CLARA (CONT’D)
8.
CLARA
All right, lets get this thing
working! Or, turn it on at least.
KAY
I’ll Google how to turn on a cliff
railway.
CLARA
Will that really tell you the
answer?
KAY
Google can answer everything-oh,
no, it’s just giving me a list of
cliff railway’s. Wow, the one in
Lynmouth looks fancy.
CLARA
I don’t care about Lynmouth!
MARVIN
Clara! We’re supposed to open in
one minute!
CLARA
Was there anything that didn’t look
switched on on this control panel?
MARVIN
I tried everything. Except the
till, I suppose.
CLARA
Try it!
MARVIN
The till is not going to help power
a pre-historic lift-
CLARA
Marvin!
MARVIN
Fine!
Pat bursts in.
PAT
Guys!
Clara, Marvin and Kay all yelp in surprise.
9.
KAY
Can everyone stop yelling?!
CLARA
Did you find what might be the
problem?
PAT
No.
They all groan.
PAT (CONT’D)
It was kinda scary down there on my
own. It made me realise you
couldn’t run this thing on your
own.
Beat.
CLARA
That’s it!
MARVIN
Huh?
CLARA
Everyone, get in the control panel
area.
They all rush in.
PAT
Ooh. Cozy.
CLARA
It looked like there were three
different switches that looked like
power switches, right Marvin?
MARVIN
Yeah.
CLARA
So. You get ready to press that one
up there, I’ll take this one, Kay
you take the one down there.
PAT
What about me?
KAY
You turn on the till.
10.
CLARA
On the count of three. Ready? One,
two, three!
The cliff railway stirs.
The till beeps.
PAT
I did it!
END
11
